FUN AT THE OFFICE OR IN THE COMPUTER LAB:
Ways to Confuse, Worry, or Just Scare People in the Computer Lab or at the Office.
Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "NO!!! They've found me!" and bolt.
Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get it to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's setup with.
Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.
Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your pocket and say, "Oops, I forgot."
Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, say "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
Yell "DISK FIGHT!!!"
Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.
If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.
Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to you. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.
If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.
Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.
Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.
Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.
Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.
When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.
Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does your delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and leave.
Stare at the person's screen next to yours, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.
Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
Bring a small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer making the sounds and look really lost.
Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.
Come into the computer lab wearing several flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.
Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.